Building the AmeriCar Market

As we wrote previously, we have a pet theory that the U.S. Federal Government is in the process - deliberate or accidental - of forming a national car manufacturer, owned and operated by the Government. With Chrysler in bankruptcy, never to repay the over $7 billion in loans from the Government, we suspect that the process of forming "AmeriCar" is accelerating (if you'll pardon the expression).

However, as anyone who has actually paid attention knows, most American automobiles suck. It's all well and good that the Federal Government might be running its own car company in the future, but who's going to buy the crap that will - almost certainly - be produced? If the Soviet Union is any indication, the national cars will be impressively crappy... except for the members of the Government, of course.

We suspect that the preliminary methods for corralling people looking to buy new cars will be similar to the "cash for clunkers" programme; older autos can be traded in for a rebate on a new vehicle. It wouldn't be difficult to extend that programme to apply only to vehicles purchased from "AmeriCar." Indeed, an even more draconian move - and in keeping with the "Buy American" mantra of the Obama Administration and Congress - would be to restrict the programme to only American-made cars, on both the trade-in and the new auto. Additionally, we wouldn't be surprised to see hefty tariffs on imported vehicles, to further coerce buyers to get "AmeriCar" vehicles.

The Long, Dark Teatime of the Holidays

As we sit at the keyboard, the rest of the Western world kicks back and takes some time off. The news services grind slower than usual; reporters are having a little eggnog with their vodka. This makes us twitchy: some of the greatest political coups d'etat have occurred when the holiday spirit permeates the air...the long, dark teatime of the year. Take the Federal Reserve Act of 1913... it was passed under the cover of darkness, after the majority of Congress had left for their Yuletide cheer. Who knows? As we type, a financial Kristallnacht could be going on without the slightest publicity...

What news we do see, though, is rather grim: retail traffic is down 24% year-over-year; the commercial real estate industry is whining for its bailout; the National Retail Federation wants a three-day jubilee on sales taxes; local banks are getting some hog slop from TARP; GMAC met with the elves at the Federal Reserve and was magically made a bank.

We wonder about GMAC's new status as a bank holding company. This company is, quite simply, a failed arm of a failed company of a failed industry. Not our idea of a good investment of the people's tax-dollars, and surely even the government must realise this. The details, though, are interesting: General Motors has to reduce its holdings in GMAC from 49% to 10%; Cerberus Capital must reduce from 51% to 33%. The 57% difference goes to an unnamed, independent 'trustee.'

This has deep implications: GMAC is now eligible for its share of TARP-feed... but the Fed's terms effectively cut off GM from the benefits of the gravy train. Cerberus won't get much of the money either, since the lion's share is going... somewhere. Hmmm, we wonder where. Were we the betting sort, we might be feeling lucky and put money on a former investment bank with the initials G.S.

But yet, we're heard that things aren't so bad: Turkey's PM is telling us this whole thing is just in our head. This would be funny, if the situation weren't so tragic. To quote Queen Victoria, we are not amused.

Clueless Leadership

Today we learned a 'Pension Relief' bill whizzed through the U.S. Congress, passing both houses unanimously. Among the many popular items, was one in particular that caught our eye: easing the requirement that Corporate Defined-Benefit Pensions be fully funded. This comes just two years after the Federal Government toughened enforcement to protect workers and the Government Pension Insurance Fund.

No one likes to lose money, but pretending one didn't lose it doesn't help the situation. If a pension fund had terrible losses in the stock market this year, the employer should put more money in to ensure there will be enough to pay the retirees. If it can't cough up the bucks, then the benefits need to be cut. One can't go on paying out as if nothing happened.

This sort of thinking is not the exception these days. For another example, banks are being allowed to shuffle more of their impaired investments into the 'marked to make-believe' category of valuation to avoid writing it down to actual market values. The most extreme examples are to be found in the 'horror stories' of people who loose their income and yet continue spending on their credit cards all the way to bankruptcy and homelessness.

If any economic unit - be it household, business, or nation - is to emerge from the 2007 Depression not ruined, it must begin by fully acknowledging the painful losses that have already happened, and accept the possibility of further losses ahead. Only then can there be a truly appropriate response - which typically involves austerity and hard work. The glaring lack of leadership from elected representatives and regulators on this point is certain to have destructive consequences, namely: more insolvency, more income loss, and (as long as governments can pretend they have resources) more bailouts.

Why JP Morgan wants Detroit to Die

The Big Three automakers (Ford, General Motors, Chrysler) are begging for a bailout. Although we haven't seen the CEOs of the companies on bended knee, we assume their pleas are strident and whiney. Nevertheless, we are certain that a token bailout is being rammed through Congress as we clatter away at the keyboard. $15 billion may sound like a lot of money, but it's a drop in the bucket for these behemoths. They are hemorrhaging capital, disbursing money like Ebeneezer Scrooge doesn't.

Despite this, there is no way in Mordor that the Big Three will live to see Christmas 2009. The obvious reasons: they're unprofitable; they're not competitive, either domestically or globally; their cars are crappy, ugly, out-of-date energy hogs that cost too much and are difficult to repair. Please, don't get us started, it will make us rant loudly.

Like we said, however, those were the obvious reasons. But there is something else - a Sword of Damocles - hanging invisibly over Detroit as we type: synthetic collateralised debt obligations (SCDO), which are soon to become massive windfalls to big banks, like JP Morgan. These SCDOs are very complicated, so please bear with us as we use the Business Spectator to explain:

"A synthetic CDO is a collateralised debt obligation that is based on credit default swaps [CDS] rather than physical debt securities... Here’s how it works: a bank will set up a shelf company in Cayman Islands or somewhere with $2 of capital and shareholders other than the bank itself... That allows the so-called special purpose vehicle (SPV) to have “deniability”, as in “it’s nothing to do with us” – an idea the banks would have picked up from the Godfather movies.

The bank then creates a CDS between itself and the SPV. Usually credit default swaps reference a single third party, but for the purpose of the synthetic CDOs, they reference at least 100 companies.

The CDS contracts between the SPV can be $US500 million to $US1 billion, or sometimes more. They have a variety of twists and turns, but it usually goes something like this: if seven of the 100 reference entities default, the SPV has to pay the bank a third of the money; if eight default, it’s two-thirds; and if nine default, the whole amount is repayable...

Finally the SPV is taken along to Moody’s, Standard and Poor’s and Fitch’s and the ratings agencies sprinkle AAA magic dust upon it, and transform it from a pumpkin into a splendid coach.

The bank’s sales people then hit the road to sell this SPV to investors. It’s presented as the bank’s product, and the sales staff pretend that the bank is fully behind it, but of course it’s actually a $2 Cayman Islands company with one or two unknowing charities as shareholders.

It offers a highly-rated, investment-grade, fixed-interest product paying a 1 or 2 per cent premium. Those investors who bother to read the fine print will see that they will lose some or all of their money if seven, eight or nine of a long list of apparently strong global corporations go broke. In 2004-2006 it seemed money for jam. The companies listed would never go broke – it was unthinkable.

Here are some of the companies that are on all of the synthetic CDO reference lists: the three Icelandic banks, Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, American Insurance Group, Ambac, MBIA, Countrywide Financial, Countrywide Home Loans, PMI, General Motors, Ford and a pretty full retinue of US home builders." [emphasis added]

Please, read this article from the Business Spectator. It is an excellent discussion of the swindle that are SCDOs. It is an epic financial bomb with an uncertain fuse, but will certainly go off with the Big Three dead and buried. And that, dear Reader, is why JP Morgan wants Detroit to die. While JP Morgan may or may not have invented SCDOs, they are certainly at the top of the guest list at this reportedly $50 trillion jamboree (yes, dear Reader, that's trillion).

Put simply, there is an unbelievably huge pie out there, somewhere, and JP Morgan is getting hungry. A little thing like the Big Three, or any of the other companies on SCDOs lists, will not stand in the way of their slice.