Why JP Morgan wants Detroit to Die

The Big Three automakers (Ford, General Motors, Chrysler) are begging for a bailout. Although we haven't seen the CEOs of the companies on bended knee, we assume their pleas are strident and whiney. Nevertheless, we are certain that a token bailout is being rammed through Congress as we clatter away at the keyboard. $15 billion may sound like a lot of money, but it's a drop in the bucket for these behemoths. They are hemorrhaging capital, disbursing money like Ebeneezer Scrooge doesn't.

Despite this, there is no way in Mordor that the Big Three will live to see Christmas 2009. The obvious reasons: they're unprofitable; they're not competitive, either domestically or globally; their cars are crappy, ugly, out-of-date energy hogs that cost too much and are difficult to repair. Please, don't get us started, it will make us rant loudly.

Like we said, however, those were the obvious reasons. But there is something else - a Sword of Damocles - hanging invisibly over Detroit as we type: synthetic collateralised debt obligations (SCDO), which are soon to become massive windfalls to big banks, like JP Morgan. These SCDOs are very complicated, so please bear with us as we use the Business Spectator to explain:

"A synthetic CDO is a collateralised debt obligation that is based on credit default swaps [CDS] rather than physical debt securities... Here’s how it works: a bank will set up a shelf company in Cayman Islands or somewhere with $2 of capital and shareholders other than the bank itself... That allows the so-called special purpose vehicle (SPV) to have “deniability”, as in “it’s nothing to do with us” – an idea the banks would have picked up from the Godfather movies.

The bank then creates a CDS between itself and the SPV. Usually credit default swaps reference a single third party, but for the purpose of the synthetic CDOs, they reference at least 100 companies.

The CDS contracts between the SPV can be $US500 million to $US1 billion, or sometimes more. They have a variety of twists and turns, but it usually goes something like this: if seven of the 100 reference entities default, the SPV has to pay the bank a third of the money; if eight default, it’s two-thirds; and if nine default, the whole amount is repayable...

Finally the SPV is taken along to Moody’s, Standard and Poor’s and Fitch’s and the ratings agencies sprinkle AAA magic dust upon it, and transform it from a pumpkin into a splendid coach.

The bank’s sales people then hit the road to sell this SPV to investors. It’s presented as the bank’s product, and the sales staff pretend that the bank is fully behind it, but of course it’s actually a $2 Cayman Islands company with one or two unknowing charities as shareholders.

It offers a highly-rated, investment-grade, fixed-interest product paying a 1 or 2 per cent premium. Those investors who bother to read the fine print will see that they will lose some or all of their money if seven, eight or nine of a long list of apparently strong global corporations go broke. In 2004-2006 it seemed money for jam. The companies listed would never go broke – it was unthinkable.

Here are some of the companies that are on all of the synthetic CDO reference lists: the three Icelandic banks, Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns, Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, American Insurance Group, Ambac, MBIA, Countrywide Financial, Countrywide Home Loans, PMI, General Motors, Ford and a pretty full retinue of US home builders." [emphasis added]

Please, read this article from the Business Spectator. It is an excellent discussion of the swindle that are SCDOs. It is an epic financial bomb with an uncertain fuse, but will certainly go off with the Big Three dead and buried. And that, dear Reader, is why JP Morgan wants Detroit to die. While JP Morgan may or may not have invented SCDOs, they are certainly at the top of the guest list at this reportedly $50 trillion jamboree (yes, dear Reader, that's trillion).

Put simply, there is an unbelievably huge pie out there, somewhere, and JP Morgan is getting hungry. A little thing like the Big Three, or any of the other companies on SCDOs lists, will not stand in the way of their slice.